The Silver Feather Which Was Placed In My Hand
whats that weird feeling you get when you start to do something and then it all falls in and becomes meaningless? is that real? or am i just being shy? am i just giving into the oppressors who say my voice should not be heard? i think this is the case, but maybe right now, text is the best way to get my ideas out. 
well, I’m actually doing ok in terms of myself and how i produce art, beauty, truth and meaning. but the capitalistic conventionalists say otherwise. they say i must produce in their way, structure my song in their way, behave and move my body in a way comfortable to them, demean my own presence in ‘their’ spaces by making myself smaller. but i say no. this is my art this is my work and i will not stay shut just because i didn’t attend their classes and lectures. i attend my own lectures. every. single. day. of. my. life.
just because my education isn’t accredited by the sons and daughters of former slave masters and colonist christian missionaries doesn’t mean i don’t mean a thing. my life is sacred and nothing they do can ever take that away from me. it will always be sacred. i will always be sacred. 

they have made it so that my mind shouts at me. DO everything! NOW! do everything now or you fail it all.


i could easily stand right here and do what other people have done
i could easily stand up here and sing somebody else’s song
i could easily be right here and sing along to someone else’s song like its not wrong

(but then what would i be to myself?
a part of this re-production of theft 
sure while people stay deaf)

i have standards 
i want to create something new 
boundaries eschew 
most people only subliminally true
not to criticise you, but what we all do

paradise paradise paradise true
its always a race to do
we chase the few who seem aloof
we forget ourselves 
cluster backwards through the limits
ache for hours push time forwards into memory
outwards in line with object fetishism

i hear the voice of passion lamely, lately 
lamenting loss of time 
i haunt the valleys discreetly 
wandering thru dem glens 
recycling, rejecting phallacies laced with fake opportunity
they won’t give it to us 
i have to choose 
not breathing for myself for a second
not thinking this is my own
no confidence alone is what they have offered me
against nature, against life itself
i go straight to the point of my knowledge
its tangential to reality

November 2015

Comments

  1. Unknown13 February 2018 at 18:41

    “We have to create culture, don’t watch TV, don’t read magazines, don’t even listen to NPR. Create your own roadshow. The nexus of space and time where you are now is the most immediate sector of your universe, and if you’re worrying about Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton or somebody else, then you are disempowered, you’re giving it all away to icons, icons which are maintained by an electronic media so that you want to dress like X or have lips like Y. This is shit-brained, this kind of thinking. That is all cultural diversion, and what is real is you and your friends and your associations, your highs, your orgasms, your hopes, your plans, your fears. And we are told ‘no’, we’re unimportant, we’re peripheral. ‘Get a degree, get a job, get a this, get a that.’ And then you’re a player, you don’t want to even play in that game. You want to reclaim your mind and get it out of the hands of the cultural engineers who want to turn you into a half-baked moron consuming all this trash that’s being manufactured out of the bones of a dying world.” - McKenna
    Lets social engineer them back people

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